The relationship between the Chinese and the earth's axis

It's a well known fact that there are a lot of Chinese in the world. There are a LOT of Chinese. 1.3 billion in fact. Yessirree. And that's only in China. There are a lot of Chinese in other countries as well. You haven't met a Chinese guy? Where are you from? Mars? Ah, forget it.

Well anyway, it's a lesser known fact that the U.S has never really been involved in a major dispute with China. Let's face it. The U.S is a global bully. Picks on a lot of countries. But it hasn't really picked on the Chinese. Hmmm?

The connection...

If every single Chinese guy in China jumped at the same time, it would rock the earth off it's axis. Pretty unnerving eh?

"Ni hao. President Bush? Listen carefully. We have a list of demands, and if they're not met within twenty four hours, WE'LL JUMP!."

Headbutt - The Ultimate Oxymoron

The study of oxymorons has long been pondered on and discussed by the greek. (They used to think a lot). For the newbie, an oxymoron is a figure of speech that combines two or more contradicting terms. For those who don't know what contradicting is, please refer to a dictionary. Spare me. Please.

A pretty ugly example of an oxymoron could be uh... "pretty ugly"? (That got to you didn't it?).

But actually, the point of this whole thing is an oxymoron that's been around for ages. It is so subtle that the very fact that it is an oxymoron has been lost in the sands of time. On the other hand, it has recently been made famous by Zinedine Zidane the football player. Time to kill the suspense.

Headbutt!!!

Beautiful ain't it? An oxymoron if I ever saw one myself. Just look at it! Two contradictory words just sitting there, joined at the hip, looking at you innocently, don't you think? The ultimate oxymoron, in my opinion. Just imagine, two opposite ends of universally EVERYTHING would be considered heads and butts. So it would only suffice that something so unique be given the title of the ultimate oxymoron.

What say ye?